Culture

Igba Nkwu: Everything To Know About Igbo Traditional Wedding

An average Igbo person defines marriage as "the union between families," rather than the union involving a man and a woman.

Igbo Traditional Wedding Igba Nkwu
Igbo Traditional Wedding [PHOTO CREDIT: Designer Wedding Planner]

The Igbo, whose culture and lifestyle are represented in Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart, had a well-structured marriage and wedding process before the advent of colonialism. The wedding process is showcased in Obierika’s statement in TFA quoted below. The Igbo traditional wedding has been practised for years and varies from location to location in Igboland.  

The traditional Igbo marriage process is not complex or complicated, it’s a simple procedure. It involves the immediate families of the intending couple, and then the umunna (the kindreds). An average Igbo person defines marriage as “the union between families,” rather than the union involving a man and a woman. Igbo marriage starts and ends at the family and umunna level. 

Talking about the Igbo people, Chinua Achebe wrote, “All their customs are upside-down. They do not decide bride-price as we do, with sticks. They haggle and bargain as if they were buying a goat or cow in the market …” (Chapter 8, Things Fall Apart)

When a man and woman are interested in being with each other, there are procedures they would have to follow to be considered fully and legally married in Igboland. It starts from their point of attraction and then ends when the man takes the woman home after fulfilling all the required Igbo traditional marriage rites. This can take little or no time. 

Procedures Involved in the Igbo Traditional Wedding

igbo traditional wedding igba nkwu
Igba Nkwu

1. Declaration Interest 

The first procedure in Igbo traditional marriage is the declaration of interest. A man sees a woman he likes and would love to marry; the man declares his interest in marrying the woman. This declaration of interest is done when he approaches his family to inform them he has found the girl he would love to marry. By this time, the man might have informed the girl. Although in the modern age, girls are usually informed; in the past, it didn’t matter. 

2. Iju Ese/Inquiry 

When the parents of the intended husband are informed, they would go on a fact-finding mission, doing research and asking questions about the girl’s family. These questions range from the family’s cultural and biological history to health issues in the family to their behavior. The parents of the husband, and at times, the parents of the wife, would carry out thorough research about the family of the intending spouse before approving the marriage.

3. Iku Aka 

After the intending spouse’s family has been certified as good and free from all issues, the intending husband will go with some members of his umunna for iku aka (introduction). In this iku aka, the family of the man will indicate and state their interest in marrying the daughter of the other family. This process involves a lot of use of language codes.

Before they go on to indicate their interest, the host family will offer and break kola nuts showing that the visiting family is welcomed and accepted. After listening to the visiting family’s request, the girl’s family will accept or reject the proposal. In case they accept the marriage proposal, the father of the lady, or his representative, will call out the girl to ask her if she will accept the marriage proposal, and if she accepts, the man’s family is asked to come back for the ime ego (payment of bride price). 

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4. Ime Ego/Ego Isi 

The man’s family will come back on a different day to do the ime ego (bride price payment). Often, in the modern age, the man is informed about what to bring in terms of money and marriage list. He can be informed on the day of the introduction, and he can also be informed on another day entirely. However, the man is allowed to bargain and ask for a reduction in the marriage list and bride price. 

On the day the man is ready with the things in the marriage list and the bride price, he comes back with his umunna. The girl’s umunna will be waiting in their home for the man’s umunna. When they arrive, kola nuts are offered to them and broken before the event begins. The breaking of the kola nut is also done during the igba nkwu. 

The man will hand over the bride price and things in the marriage list to the eldest man in his umunna. The man will in turn present it to the lady’s umunna. The lady’s kindred will certify that the bride price is fully and duly paid. In most locations in Igboland, the father of the bride will collect only a small amount of the cash presented, giving back the rest to the groom. The father of the bride will go on to state that his daughter is not for sale and that the man should look after his daughter and care for her. 

5. Igba Nkwu/Igbo Traditional Wedding

For some Igbo regions and communities, when the bride price has been certified to be fully paid, the lady automatically becomes the man’s wife. However, in most Igbo communities, there’d have to be a proper Igbankwu (traditional wedding) before the lady becomes the man’s legal wife. 

At the Igbankwu, the parents of the lady and man bless the union. Firstly, the father of the bride blesses her and gives her a cup of palm wine. The bride collects the palm wine, dancing, in search of her prospective husband. She will leave her family’s side to the man’s family side in search of him. When she finds him, she hands him the palm wine to drink. The man walks back with the lady to the lady’s father who blesses the marriage. Now, officially a couple, they go to the man’s family to receive the final blessing. After this, the couple are invited to the stage to dance while other people join them. The rest of the igba nkwu is about dancing, eating, giving gifts to the couple, and merriment.

The igba nkwu is the traditional marriage proper, and so, a lot of preparation goes into it. The igbankwu also involves the presence of strangers who aren’t part of any of the couple’s family. In modern times, invitation cards are printed and shared with people, and asoebi (uniforms) are also shared with the people who intend to attend the wedding. The kind of dress worn at the wedding is usually the Igbo traditional wedding attire. For most men, caftan will do, and for most women, it’s a wrapper, caftan gown, and blouse made from lace. 

Asoebi (uniforms) are usually worn in Igbo traditional weddings by maidens escorting the bride out, organizations invited to the wedding, and sometimes by the families of the couple. 

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6. Idu Uno

Idu uno (newly married lady going home) happens right after the igba nkwu.  It involves the lady’s family providing some of the properties she’d be needing in her husband’s house as she moves to his house. It also involves some ladies from the lady’s side accompanying her to her husband’s house. Nonetheless, in the modern age, ladies hardly accompany new brides. 

After all these are done, the lady has become one with the man, and she’ll be considered a part of the man’s family. The man is also considered as part of the lady’s family as he’d be involved in some family issues in his wife’s family. Once the marriage is complete, the lady can join the ụmụada of her husband’s Umunna. 

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Conclusion

The Igbo traditional wedding is a simple procedure that joins a man and a woman in a union involving their families. The umunna and the family are important witnesses to the union, and they play important roles during and after the wedding. In case of issues in the marriage, it is the family and kindred the couple will consult to resolve the issues. In a few cases where the marriage is on the brink of collapse, the family and umunna adjudicate the matter, trying to salvage the marriage. When the marriage cannot be salvaged, the bride’s family returns the bride price, and the marriage is dissolved. 

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